NO MORE DREARY NO-VEMBERS
November 2nd, 2015. 4min read. by Sandra Taddeo
November can be a harsh month. Nature is slowing down, giving us less heat and less light, while at the same time, we need to keep up the pace to stay in the race. Sometimes we are even asked to “kick it up a notch” so that we can wrap up the year on time.
In November expectations are high and energy is low. So to avoid crumbling under your workload and other pressures, you might have to change some of your ways.
November appears to be a peak month for clinical psychologists, as anxiety and depression symptoms are usually on the rise. Perhaps as winter sets in we are meant to slow down as well, but that’s often not possible in the workplace, nor is it at home in the parenthood biz.
I don’t suggest you slack on your responsibilities at the risk of your financial and family stability, but I will let you in on some clues that may help you keep your head above water and prevent you from drowning in this month’s possible overflow.
In November, set your priorities straight and stay focused on what is most important to YOU. Say NO to situations that are not in line with your needs or your wants or are not generally beneficial to you.
You cannot afford to respond to people’s « NO’S » and « YES’S » above and beyond your own! To have gentler Novembers, cultivate the art of « NO-vember », that is, « NO » to things that aren’t definite « YES’S » for you!
Here are things to look out for …
In November, beware of vampires!
People who feed off of other people’s energy can be needier in November. Pay attention to your own energy and levels of calmness; assess the variations according to the situations and deduce. Don’t take your chances with people who might consume you, wear you down or make you feel bad.
NO-vember tip – Crank up on your boundaries, learn to say NO and stay away from energy-sucking individuals.
In November, listening to ill-speaking may make you ill
You have NO time to waste on draining conversations. Say « NO » to unwanted complaints, judgments, gossip, lies, abuse, firm negativity and vulturous bombardments of opinions.
NO-vember tip – If it’s not uplifting or authentic, get out! Dodge toxic talk.
Only YOU are responsible for your own energy!
If you don’t create solid boundaries, some people may take advantage of your attention and energy. And why wouldn’t they? You have what they so very much need! If left unguarded, or even worse, handed to them in hopes of feeling mere appreciation, don’t be surprised if others abuse of your good will and leave you feeling depleted.
NO-vember tip – Say NO to pleasing others at your own expense. Make it your job to put your needs in the forefront!
Remember: Putting yourself at a disadvantage by trying to accommodate others won’t do anyone any good.
Guilt is the price to pay for cultivating the art of NO-vember
Guilt is a common reaction to making yourself a priority. When you say NO to others’ agendas, you might feel guilty. So be it! Don’t over-explain or defend your decision. Just be firm. Grace will come with practice. To overcome guilt, you must face it. Know that the discomfort will eventually go away. Taking charge and making these changes will bring you the satisfaction you need for better No-vembers!
You’ll get to say YES…
I will get to the YES’S in my next post. You must first get good at the NO’S to access quality time with « big fat definite » YES’S. Train hard, expose yourself to NO’S and the guilt that comes with it. Only then, can we get to the good stuff and truly talk YES’S…
Tools by Zorka Hereford,
It’s OK to :
• Turn the ringer off on the phone
• Take a lot of time returning calls or e-mails
• Allow yourself to change your mindBow out of a volunteer activity
• Cancel a commitment when not feeling wellReserve a place your home that is off-limits to others
• Ask for peace and quiet while getting a massage
• Tell others when you need emotional and physical space