November 2nd, 2015. 4min read. by Sandra Taddeo

November can be a harsh month. Nature is slowing down, giving us less heat and less light whilst we are asked to keep the pace, stay in the race. Sometimes we are even asked to « bring it up a notch » so that we can rap up the year on time.

In November expectations are high and energy is lower. To avoid crumbling under labour or pressure, you might have to change some of your ways.

November is a peak month for therapists as anxiety and depression symptoms are usually on the rise.

Perhaps as winter sets in we are meant to slow down as well, but that’s often not possible in the work place, nor is it in the « parenthood place ». I won’t suggest you slack on your responsibilities and risk having your financial and family stability crash.

But i will let you in on guide lines that may help you keep your head above water and prevent you from getting submerge in November overflow.

In November set your priorities straight and stay focused on what is most important to YOU by saying NO to situations that aren’t what you need, what you want or that are not fostering for YOU.

You can not afford to respond to people’s NO’S and YES’S above and beyond your own! To have a gentler (milder) Novembers, cultivate the art of « NO-vember »_ NO to things that aren’t definite « YES’S » to you!

Here are things to look out for …

In November beware of vampires

People who feed off of other people’s energy can be needier in November. Pay attention to your own liveliness and calmness; assess the variation according to the situation and deduct. Don’t take your chances with people who might consume you, weary you or make you feel bad.

NO-Vember ploy I- Crank up on your boundaries settings, learn to say NO and stay away from energy sucking individuals.

In November, listening to ill-speaking, may just make you ill

You have NO time to waste on draining conversations. Say NO to unwanted complaints, gossips, jugements, lies, abuse, firm negativity and bombardments of opinions.

NO-vember ploy – If it’s not uplifting or authentic exchanges, get out! Dodge ill-speaking situations.

No one else but you is responsible for your own energy!

If you don’t put up solid boundaries, people will serve themselves to your attention, power and so on. And why wouldn’t they? They need it and its there. If it’s not guarded or even worst, if it’s handed to them in the hope for a glimpse of appreciation in return, it’s only natural that they will take it and deplete you.

Make it your job to put your needs in the forefront. Say NO to pleasing others at your own expense.

Remember: Putting yourself at a disadvantage by trying to accommodate others won’t do anyone any good!

It's your job to put your needs in the forefront.

Guilt is the price to pay for cultivating the art of NO-vember

Guilt is the most common sequel to making yourself a priority. When you say NO to others agendas, you will feel guilty. So be it! Don’t over-explain or defend your decision. Just be firm. Grace will come with practice. To overcome guilt, face it. Know that the discomfort will eventually go away. Be satisfied that you are taking charge towards change and better Novembers!

You’ll get to say YES if…

We’ll get to the YES’S in my next issue. But first you must get good at the NO’S to access quality time with definite YES’S. Train hard, expose yourself to NO’S and the guilt that comes with it. Only then, can we truly talk YES’S…

Tools by Zorka Hereford,
It’s OK to :
• Turn the ringer off on the phone
• Take a lot of time returning calls or e-mails
• Allow yourself to change your mindBow out of a volunteer activity
• Cancel a commitment when not feeling wellReserve a place your home that is off-limits to others
• Ask for peace and quiet while getting a massage
• Tell others when you need emotional and physical space